My Journal As I Silently Weep
by kylekennypiptweek
Summary: (This is another AU of Topanga Wathers in the asylum. I got this idea really long ago. I revamped it and put it here.) I sometimes have blank outs where I don't remember what happened. I have been told that I am: Topanga, Pang, Top, Toppie, and someone named Jessie. And I have no heart anymore. No heart for those who have hurt me. No heart for them. No heart for my parents.


**My Journal As I Silently Weep**

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_**A/N:** _**Another AU of Topanga in the asylum. And Jay is an employee that helps her out a bit. Kyle is in the position of the best friend. Enjoy. Read and Review?**

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It all started when my mother and father left me here, 10 years ago, to this day.

I waited for an hour until I started to realize. They weren't coming back. What seemed like an hour, was less than 5 seconds. They didn't even make it out the door yet. I lost the innocence, the light, the happiness in my eyes.

I realized that they have abandoned me. I remember I saw my mother cry, but it was only a tear or two that were shed. And I remembered I saw my father smile. Yes, smile. Like he was enjoying ever minute of it. I kept screaming 'Mommy! Daddy! I don't like it here-PLEASE! Stay with me!'

I was crying, screaming, kicking until i realized defeat. I didn't like it there. I wanted to leave. I ran for the door, but a large, tall, man stopped me. He picked me up with ease and he took me to this big white room. It looked all soft, and when I was set down in there, it was. The man was actually really nice. He looked bad, but he was kind. He told me not to cry and he helped me stop and laugh. This went on until a woman walked up to the soft room. She looked kind, but maybe she was mean...

The woman came in with a big smile on her face. Her hair was blue and it had some blonde strands showing through the dyed ones. She was actually nice as well They both helped me become happier in my time of troubles. The woman's name was Jay and the man's name was Eric. They were going to be my new family, that's what they said.

Upon my arrival I met a boy my age named Kyle Broflovski. I also met Kenny McCormick. They were friends as well. They said if I stay with them, I will be alright. And I was. And I am.

After a year or two of my arrival when I turned 12, Eric and Jay told me something I didn't nor ever would have known. I kept asking why I was left here. Why there were a lot of people here, like kids, adults, teenagers, and some old people. And they told me once.

I have multiple personality disorder.

Kyle said that meant that I switch personalities when triggered.

Kenny said that meant that I had more than one personality.

Eric and Jay said that meant there was more than one me of love.

I think it means that I'm not normal.

After 6 more years of finding that out, I asked what Kyle and Kenny had when we were in the recreation room.

Kyle said he has a problem with dreams and memory.

Kenny said he has a reality deficiency.

Kyle said that meant he had horrible dreams that sometimes give him seizures or night terrors. And that some of his memories feel surreal, almost like dreams, and those dreams, which could be memories, could be so bad they give him seizures in his sleep or night terrors.

Kenny said that meant he sometimes doesn't know what is reality and what is not. That's why he sometimes says he dies a lot. And that's why he says he is a super hero named Mysterion protecting his little sister Karen. He doesn't have a little sister at all. But, when he has episodes, he will believe otherwise.

I started to cry because they couldn't be fixed. I couldn't remember what happened after that. Kyle said I 'switched personalities' and I started to kick and scream and shiver and scream about him and Kenny taking me. I don't know what her was talking about. At all.

A year later, the two of them said I tried to kill them in their sleep. I don't remember doing such a thing. They said I was claiming to be someone named Top. And that they were the ones who stole my life from me, who stole my house, my everything. I don't know anything about that.

Another year later, it is not the present. I am great friends with Kyle and Kenny. I sometimes have blank outs where I don't remember what happened. I have been told that I am:

Topanga

Pang

Top

Toppy

and someone named Jessie.

And I have no heart anymore. No heart for those who have hurt me. No heart for those who have deceived me.

No heart.

For my parents.


End file.
